Female matchmakers maintain influence in Qatari society

[PATRICK BAZ/AFP/Getty Images] Qatari woman holds a goldfish in the pet market in Souq Waqif in Doha.

[PATRICK BAZ/AFP/Getty Images] Qatari woman holds a goldfish in the pet market in Souq Waqif in Doha.

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Umm Eed is a 40-year-old professional matchmaker who has arranged about 20 marriages between young Qatari men and women over the past ten years. This has secured her an outstanding reputation among female matchmakers in Qatar.

She says that she works in this field for two reasons: one being a quest for Allah's approval through arranging lawful marriages, and the second as a source of income.

There are many female matchmakers in conservative Gulf States where intermingling between the two sexes is still prohibited. They undertake the task of searching for girls of marriageable age, and then speaking with them and their families about setting them up with prospective husbands.

If the family agrees, the matchmakers present the girl and her family with a number of young men who wish to marry, along with a detailed account of each man's background. They also take pictures of the girls, and subject to their approval, present them to young men searching for wives.

The matchmaking profession is very old. However, it is still very popular in Qatar, where telephone numbers for matchmakers appear in daily and weekly newspapers, with services made available to Qatari nationals exclusively.

In an interview with Al-Shorfa, Umm Eed said the idea of working as a matchmaker came to her after one of her friends asked for her help in arranging her marriage. "I succeeded in this mission. Since then, I have become a matchmaker, a profession that has become very popular today," she said.

Ahmad ibn Abdullah supports marriages arranged by female matchmakers. "The matchmaker usually knows many women and can make a better choice. That is why I support this kind of marriage especially since their fees are not high and don't exceed 10,000 riyals in most cases," he said.

Meanwhile, Noura, a single Qatari woman, told Al-Shorfa that she decided to use the services of a matchmaker after her plan to find a husband over the Internet failed.

"I am over 35 years old and still unmarried," Noura said. "No one has ever proposed to me, in spite of the fact that I am employed. So, I thought of subscribing to a marriage site hoping that I might find the right man. And indeed, I carried on with my plan without telling my family."

"I chose a young man based on the information that he sent me. He was living in the same town and this gave us the opportunity to meet several times until we agreed about everything."

But it later turned out that the young man was already married and had children back home, Noura said, and he wanted to get married without the knowledge of his family.

"After this incident, I decided to stay away from Internet matchmaking sites and asked a traditional female matchmaker to help me because she has real and correct information about the men who are searching for wives, and I want to settle," she added.

There are no accurate statistics about the number of marriages arranged by ‎female matchmakers or the success rate of such marriages. ‎

Jumaa Al Nuaimi, a social researcher, believes that these marriages can succeed or fail like any other ‎marriage. "The majority of the matchmakers' customers search for their life partners in communities that are still conservative, and that is why the likelihood of success or failure for such marriages remains ‎unknown," Jumaa said. ‎

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  • READER COMMENTS

    2011-12-26

    Matchmaking is wonderful. I wish I lived in a society where all of these traditions were carried out. I would love to have a matchmaker find me a good husband, whose family has good morals and is uprooted in tradition and customs. I sadly, live on the Western world, and this isn\'t practiced here. :( Does a matchmaker find a good husband for someone abroad? LOL....

  • سالم

    2011-10-21

    I want to marry someone that I will choose.

  • mohd_4350

    2011-6-28

    i want to first know and relationship before marry any muslim girls if she agree us thanks

  • نامق

    2010-5-28

    Due to luxury, the Gulf young man leads a reckless life, and that doesn’t only happen to young men, but young women as well; they try to do as the other youths do, corruption has leaked into the Gulf families so that they have become almost degenerated. Everyone wants to do whatever they please, especially since most of the Gulf countries have opened up to the Western world and have been trying to change their traditions in one way or another. It is true that this has gained them money, but they have lost the morals of their youths, because they couldn’t maintain them. Due to the space that was given to the youths, along with comfort, luxury, and much money that youths spend without any questioning, all these are causes of their degeneration.

  • ام محمد

    2010-4-15

    Thank you for all the encouraging opinions and ideas that you offer to us. I support matchmaking and I've always wanted to work in this field. I would like you to write about merchants at Souq Waqef and encourage them, because I am one of the merchants there and I want to succeed at my job.

  • هادي

    2010-4-4

    First of all, in the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful; may peace, mercy and the blessings of Allah be upon all readers! Thanks to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad. Brothers and sisters, I support the idea of matchmakers, but not every matchmaker is good. I don’t prefer matchmaking to be done over the Internet and wedding channels, which have only one goal: money. The matchmaker is rather a guide to get a suitable match. Then, you go with your family to have a legal meeting with your expected spouse, and later, you fulfill the marriage requirements and conditions. Marriage is difficult and easy at the same time. It is difficult for the one who does not want to marry; and it is easy for the one who wants to marry. It is difficult for the one who wants to try this girl and that one. People are not toys in our hands. If the engagement is not completed successfully, the man should still be respectful towards the woman, because even if she will not be his wife, she is now like his sister. This is the right way. May Allah protect us and protect all! This is your brother and admirer, Hadi. I hope that the administration will give out the phone number of the matchmaker.